“Deep mind is deep entrusting faith. It has two aspects. First, to believe deeply and unwaveringly that we are actually ordinary beings of karmic evil subject to birth and death, ever sinking and ever transmigrating in samsara since innumerable kalpas ago without a chance to escape from it. Second, to believe deeply and unwaveringly that the Forty-eight Vows of Amida Buddha enfold sentient beings, enabling them to board His Vow-Power and attain Birth.” (1)
The above sculpture of Amida Buddha was carved by my husband in Rarotongan basalt. It was inspired by the words of Reverend Josho who explained certain details in Amida Buddha statues. Josho explained that the hand gestures signified:
Don't be afraid, come as you are
It seems so simple, yet it is the most difficult thing for us to step away from the worldly vision where self achievement so highly regarded, to look through Dharmic vision where we see ourselves for what we truly are: heavily burdened by evil karma from this and former lives that we are hopelessly under-average, incapable of sustaining any precepts or self-powered practices in order to become Buddhas in this lifetime. Furthermore, how could an enlightened being to even notice our miserable efforts, yet, as inconceivable as it may seem, to accept us just as we are is the very essence of Amida Buddha's compassion.
In his book Amida Dharma, Reverend Josho says:
“Faith in Amida Buddha means a twofold profound conviction:
to know that we are people of deep karmic limitations, incapable to attain Buddhahood through our own power;
to know that only Amida Buddha can save us through His Vow Power (Other Power), without asking anything from us.” (2)
I remember the day I realised that, no matter how hard I tried, I would never have the capabilities to progress as a Zen practitioner. My ordinary life wouldn't allow for the time that was necessary for serious Zazen practice, no matter how sincere I was in my faith. It was only later, after receiving Amida’s compassionate shinjin, that I was able to understand that no matter what commitments or sacrifices I made, in this Dharma Age, nothing would ever be enough. Recognising my meagre qualities and gauging the weight of my negative karma, simply from this life, without counting the accumulation from former lives, it would certainly take thousands of lifetimes for me to make any degree of progress. Even then, for every step forward I would be constantly at prey to slipping fifty steps backwards. Worst of all, I know that, because of the burden of my karma, chances were slim for me to be reborn in the human realm for a very long time.
At the time, the thought of this plunged me into a maelstrom of despair, but today, I see this vulnerability through a different light.
Had I not experienced bitter failure, and my heart had never been drained of any hope of reaching Buddhahood through my own efforts, the conditions would never have been ripe for Amida Buddha to benevolently grasp me, nor would I , realising I had run out of options, have gratefully accepted His gift of salvation.
Somehow, In acknowledging my profound karmic limitations, yet, persisting in my certainty that within Buddhism, there must be a path which manifested the all-encompassing compassion I so earnestly seeked, the conditions aligned for Amida Buddha to bestow His benevolence upon me.
Had that one thought moment not happened, I would today be obstinately pursuing self-power practices and struggling miserably. My fate would indeed be doomed to endless transmigrations. Amida Buddha was the only chance I had left.
Everyday, when I gratefully say the Nembutsu, entrust my existence to Him and aspire with joy to be born in His Pure Land, I know that Amida Buddha is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Today I am overwhelmed by gratitude,
NAMO AMIDA BU NAMO AMIDA BU NAMO AMIDA BU
Shaku Hokai
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(1) Master Shan-tao, as quoted by Shinran Shonin in chapter III of his Kyogyoshinsho, Kyogyoshinsho – On Teaching, Practice, Faith, and Enlightenment, translated by Hisao Inagaki, Numata Center for Buddhist Translation and Research, Kyoto, 2003, p. 90-91
(2) Amida Dharma, 2020, Reverend Josho Adrian Cirlea, p.30
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